i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
