so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My cat gives me a boner
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
