Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
