It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There r osticjed everywhere
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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