Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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