she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We have so much sex to catch up on
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
