i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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