oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
