Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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