I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
