this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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