you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
