The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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