it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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