Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
