just come out here and I will go home with you...
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
