The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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