Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
