Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
