girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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