some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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