Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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