I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
