after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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