How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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