you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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