I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
