and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
