he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
