Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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