Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
