Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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