I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
