am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
