i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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