he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
