Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
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