yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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