Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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