This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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