I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
