She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
