You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
