how can u be prego again
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
