id be glad to
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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