My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
