i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
