Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
