google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This baby is an asshole
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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