Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
