Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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