Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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