The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
