It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
it's great music for shaving your balls
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
